Saturday, January 08, 2005

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We went to a Bat Mitzvah tonight, which is not something our new friends do, not in the neighborhood we live in now, not a Bat Mitzvah like this one anyway. Shteebel people don't do bat mitzvahs, and when they do they are calm. They are sedate. This one, though was anything but. It had ear-poppingly loud hip-hop songs (with Hebrew lyrics); raucous (single-sex) slam dancing; a DJ and dancers (who all wore wigs, and spoke with, you know, that Jewish accent, including -especially - the very matronly head DJ) ; inspirational divrei Torah (delivered by women.) Sushi. Steak.

I won't lie to you: I enjoyed it, (and you'll never meet a man who dislikes eating steak in a room with music and dancing woman.) My wife liked it, too, but she wasn't completely comfortable. "We're not doing this for our oldest daughter," she exclaimed, a little too loudly for my liking.

For the record I agree.

We sat with people who agreed, too. During breaks in the music, we discovered that I was the only person at our table who had ever been to a bat mitzvah before - by which the tablemates meant a bat mitzvah like this one. I was also the only one who knew the rules to "Pepsi / Coca-cola" – a party game that very well might have been played at Sorah Imanu's bat mitzvah.

The rules have changed though. Lots of new wrinkles have been added. The girls knew all the steps. As if driven by instinct. I used to know girls like that...

Oddly, as the night progressed, though, I found myself thinking not of tweenagers, but of single Jewish woman, woman in their thirties, woman who are stilled called “girls” by clueless matrons, woman who haven’t yet found their man, or their place yet on the wide, wide, spectrum that is the Orthodox Jewish community. At some point we all choose our own spot on that spectrum, and implicitly we announce that all the other spots – the Hasidic spot, the modern spot, or whatever – we announce that those other spots aren’t for us, or for our children.

I was married before I thought about these things. I didn't understand the deep deivisions in Orthodoxy, and it never occured to me that I might one day live, and also thrive, in a neighborhood so alien to my upbringing. Now, at thirty-two, my bed is made so to speak. I have the house, I have the kids, I have the community, and for better or for worse, I have my spot on the spectrum.

What do single women do, I wondered? Do they choose their spot on the spectrum, and hope to meet a guy on the same spot? Or do they keep their doors open, saying, I can be happy on any one of a dozen spots, so let's not foreclose any opportunties. I'll worry about it after I meet my man.

That's what I would say, if I was single again. That's essentially what I said until I ended up in my little town, and it's what I've tried to do, with small success, since we got here.

Anyway, as I listened to the throbing songs, I thought about choices and opportunities. What must it be like to be a single adult - a real, fully aware, adult and not a twenty-one year old pishka, rushing to marry the first, sorry, only girl he ever loved? What must it be like to be that adult, an adult who is not married or living in a community, and is therefore able to keep a toe, or more, concurrently, in all those different spots on the rich spectrum of Jewish life?

Is it liberating? Is it terrifying? Is it really possible to do once you have the house and the kids? Lord knows, I am trying....

[Note: Bad form I know, but I am reserving the right to edit my work after publication. This post is not in its final form until this footnote disapears]

Comments:

I don't consider myself Orthodox. But I have to say that as a moderately observant woman in her thirties, simchas are definitely hard on us. We find ourselves questioning whether there's a place for us in various venues: life/companionship, observance, sanity...

This is probably less articulate than I should be on this topic. I'll hopefully cover it another time. But yes, it's hard. And lots of people could stand to be more sensitive, more inclusive, and more considerate.  

I know I'm only 20, but as much as I love Jewish celebrations they are always wierd for me. I'm only half jewish so I've missed out on a lot of Judaism. Seeing bat mitzva's and Jewish weddings make me sad, because I'm afraid that I'll raise children that don't have any ties to the Jewish community. Being Jewish and Israeli is so important to me, but if I'm honest, I'll probably end up marrying someone who's not Jewish. It's sad to think about.  

Wow, Rip Van Maimon, you have returned to the land of blogging. Welcome back.  

Adam,

So glad to see you back..and articulate as ever. I can't count the number of women I know who say it is too hard to be shomeret shabbat, but if I find the right guy...

I always wondered if that was the right reason.  

ANd then whathappens, Sfaranit, after they find themselves in the world of shomrei shabbat? Do they resent it. Do they wonder why actiions they know are permitted are still verboten in their new neighborhoods? How do they adjust to the shuls? To the culture? This is my problem, and all I did was move from one segment of the shomer shabbat world to another.  

I don't know...

I can say on a personal level as a "BT" there were times when I just wanted to flip on and off the light switch on Shabbat, just for something to do....

I think that if someone has some semblance of knowledge as to what they are doing, and why they are doing it, it is possible to do. It might also depend on where you are...when most of our friend were either not observant, or not Jewish it was harder than living in Israel when our community is observant.  

Welcome back Adam.
Sounds like you had a great time that evening!
Being single IMHO is not so bad - except for the pressures of society.  

So, out of curiosity, what ARE your plans for your girl's bat mitzvah? Anything?

p.s. Good to have you back!

GoldaLeah
www.westernjew.blogspot.com  

To answer your question, this is what adult single Orthodox Jewish women do with respect to finding their place on the Orthodox spectrum:
They choose a place on the spectrum, based on what they've been taught, and what they believe in, what's in their hearts - more or less the way adults hopefully make most of the important decisions in their lives.
And then they get told by shadchanim, and by friends and relatives who are trying to set them up, that their choice is irrelevant because the important thing is to get a man, and since said shadchan/friend/relative has the perfect guy whose place on the frum spectrum is very different than the woman's, the woman's own heartfelt beliefs about the kind of frum life she wants to live should just be thrown out for the sake of the guy.
Which may be part of why there are so many nice adult single frum women out there. (And frum men, though I think the tendency is to think that the woman should be the one to change her worldview in order to make her frum man happy.)
It's nice to think that you can be completely open-minded about this issue, but if you actually have a mind and you use it when you think about your place in the Orthodox world, there's a limit to how much you can bend.  

Why do you particularly identify women as people who could/should be flexible? Aren't unmarried Orthodox men in the same position? Not that I'm married myself, but my parents always told me that a marriage was about compromise from both sides- but then, my parents aren't frum. Is there something I'm missing here, that says that women's religious beliefs are supposed to be more flexible than men's? And why does this only go in the Orthodox world? I know a lot of people whose dating pool ranges from the righter wings of Conservative through somewhere in the midst of Orthodoxy: it isn't just an intramovement phenomenon.  

Unmarried men aren't in the same position, for two reasons. First, it's easier for them to appear nuetral., and second there is more preasure on them earlier on to choose a spot on the spectrum. If a guy goes to a particular yeshiva, his spot is set.  

Baruch mechaye maitim. Good to have you back. Sounds like a freilich simcha. For my daughter's bat mitzva, I want to have thousands of simcha dancers, all doing yidden, or maybe synchronized swimming dancers, that would be a chiddush.

I would think that most singles, male or female, have a place on the religious spectrum that makes them comfy. Some may feel more or less strongly about occupying that spot. If they meet someone who occupies a different space, then accomodations obviously need to be made. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesnt. A friend of mine didn't marry his first love because of religious differences, she wanted to be a rabbi. He didnt have a problem with her going to JTS, but he wanted to raise his kids in an orthodox shul. Guess it wouldn't have looked good for the Rebbitzin(?) and kids to be going to a different shul, and not hearing her drashot. what can you do.  

My sister had her Bat Mitzvah at the Baba Club, with a belly dancer.

My daughter had a women's only shalos shutos at our house, with multiple dvar torahs. And that was too much for some, who don't believe in the whole Bas mitzvah thingie.

Talk about change of environment.  

Welcome back to the posting world! Have a great Shabbos!  

What a thoughtful, entertaining post. When I'm a single woman again, I'll let you know. hehehe  

nu? whereya been?  

Very interesting blog. I have performed at various bat-mitzvahs.
I was never really comfortable with whole DJ blasting and the
dance motivator stuff personally.
Just remember this although some women may feel pressured to marry
and be flexibale in the level of religiosness of the man it is the man who has the bigger issue. The man has to get married according to law of pru urivu (be fruitful
and multiply) while the woman does not.  

J Blogmeister
That may be true but the social pressures on girls to marry is far greater then the halacha on men.
Where I live its perfectly cool to be a 38 yr old bochur in the dorm and act like you are 22.
But if a 28 yr old single girl is very attractive they think she is a zoineh, if she's not they treat her like a rochmonus case.  

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This is my first time reading your blog, linked it through Life of Rubin's blog. I happen to be a woman who is 32, single, and have not put myself in a religious box. Quite possibly because there is no box for me. :) I'm not orthodox, but I enjoy going to Chabad as my shul. I'm far from reform and even some conservative stuff (of what I know) bugs me. So, I haven't "chosen" a lifestyle.

I think the question of "do we choose the lifestyle or does the lifestyle choose us?" should be asked. I say this because when I was younger and a politically active hippie feminist teenager, I would have sworn you'd never find me in a shul where men and women sit separate...but somehow...this community found me.

Being single does pose challenges and it's something I've talked about with many people, including my rabbi. I've never kept Shomer Shabbos. It's not that I wouldn't like to try it, it's that as a single person I think about sitting around the house all day being lonely and reflecting on that. Sure, I could read...but as a teacher if I have free time to read I'd want to do work. :) I just think that Jewish life is very conducive to family and when you're single and at the age where most people are at least married if not with children, it makes for some awkward times. Not only is it hard to meet men my age, it's hard to make new "grown-up" friends too because we are all at different places in our lives.

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